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"An Annoying Neighbor"

Kim wants to go inside and doesn't feel like chatting with her neighbor, who has issues

A: (talking to herself) Alright, clean as a whistle. Now I can go inside. It's hot out here.

B: Hey Kim, wait up!

A: Oh, hey Barbara. How are you?

B: All sticky and nasty. This stupid weather. It's always hot and humid. Plus, my air conditioner is broken. What are you doing out here?

A: Oh, not much. I was just washing my car. It had a lot of bird poop on it cause the parking lot at my job has a lot of trees.

B: I hate it when that happens. Mine always gets bird crap on it. I wish there weren't so many birds. But it's not a big deal. I just make my boyfriend wash it for me.

A: I'm sure he loves that...

B: Actually, he hates it. But I just keep nagging him and eventually he gives in.

A: Well, that's nice of you. (kind of sarcastic)

B: Why?

A: Oh, never mind. Well, I gotta go.

B: You think I'm not a nice person or something?

A: I didn't say that.

B: You didn't have to.

A: I hate to break it to you, but you're not the most considerate person in the world.

B: Like how?

A: Well, for starters... if you're going to make someone else wash your car, you could at least make an effort not to park under trees all the time. It's not like there are trees all over the place in our neighborhood. It wouldn't be that hard to avoid them.

B: That sounds like a lot of work on my part.

A: It's not just with your boyfriend, either. You're always blowing your own horn, you breathe down everybody's neck, you criticize constantly, and you're bossy and manipulative with almost everyone you come across. Oh, and you're the worst backseat driver, by the way.

B: Hey, I was just trying to show you a shortcut.

A: Be that as it may, it's still rude to tell others how to drive. Well, I should probably go now.

B: Does everyone feel this way about me?

A: Pretty much. Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I guess I was just blowing off some steam.

B: No. You're right. I must be really annoying to everyone. Maybe I should try to change.

A: Well, it's better late than never. Have you ever gone to a psychologist or anything?

B: Been there, done that. They're just a bunch of know it alls.

A: See, that's exactly the kind of attitude you need to change. So why'd you go in the first place if you felt this way about them?

B: My parents made me go when I was little. I guess I was a handful for them.

A: I can imagine. Well, maybe you should go back one more time. Or you could read a self-help book or something. Either of those could help you break some ground and maybe find the cause of your problem. You really have issues. No offense.

B: Well, I guess it couldn't hurt. Let's go to the bookstore and see what there is. We'll take my car. That way I won't have to tell you how to drive.